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IF I HAD MY
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by Erma Bombeck
I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending the earth would
go into a holding pattern if I weren't there for the day.
I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose
before it melted in storage.
I would have talked less and listened more.
I would have invited friends over to dinner
even if the carpet was stained, or the
sofa faded
I would have eaten the popcorn in the 'good' living room and worried much less
about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace.
I would have taken the time to listen to my
grandfather ramble about his youth.
I would have shared more of the responsibility carried by my husband.
I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day
because my hair had just been teased and sprayed.
I would have sat on the lawn! With my grass stains.
I would have cried and laughed less while watching television
and more while watching life.
I would never have bought anything just because it was practical,
wouldn't show soil, or was guaranteed to
last a lifetime.
Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I'd have cherished every
moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance
in life to assist God in a miracle.
When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have said,
'Later.
Now go get washed up for dinner.'
There would have been more 'I love you's;
more 'I'm sorry's.'
But mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute...look at it
and really see it. Live it and never give it back.
STOP SWEATING THE SMALL STUFF!!!
Don't worry about who doesn't like you, who has more, or who's doing what.
Instead; let's cherish the relationships we have with those who do love us….
***
Erma Louise Bombeck. 1927-1996 was an American humorist who achieved
remarkable popularity through her newspaper columns. She found her soimetimes
racous humor in the everyday things of American Suburbia. Most of her 15 books
(E.g. “The Grass is Always Greener Over the Septic Tank”) became best sellers.
Eventually her her column was carried by some 900 newspapers. Aphorisms and
pitch one liners were her stock in trade: “A friend will tell you she saw your
old boyfriend - and he's a priest.” She is considered by many to be among the
greatest humorist the
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