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Abortion
“I’m Getting an abortion. I don’t need one, but feeI I should exercise that right before it gets taken away.”
Betty Salkind
The Case of the Foul-Mouthed
Parrot
John
received as a gift a parrot with attitude and an obscene vocabulary. The bird’s
every utterance was X-rated. John first tried and tried to change the bird's
attitude by example, being formally polite. Finally, though, John lost it. He
yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. John grabbed the bird and shook
it, with the
result being the bird became even ruder. John, in desperation, grabbed the bird
and put him in the freezer. For a few minutes the parrot squawked and cursed
and screamed. Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for
over a minute. Fearing that he'd hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the freezer. The parrot calmly stepped
out onto John's outstretched arms and said "I believe I may have offended
you with my rude language and actions. I'm sincerely remorseful for my
inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to
correct my rude and unforgivable behavior."
John was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude. As he was about to ask
the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird
continued, "May I ask what the turkey did?"
The Three Seminarians:
Facing
their final test before ordination, three earnest young seminarians were taken
by an old priest into a lavishly furnished room and told to strip. The old
priest then presented them with a small bell to tie around their organs with a
bit of red ribbon. Suddenly a ravishingly beautiful young woman interred the
room. One bell immediately ding-a-linged. “To the showers, O’Hoolihan!” ordered the old priest. The lovely young woman
began to undress in the most seductive manner possible. A second ding-a-ling was heard. “To the showers
with you, too, Finnegan,” the old priest commanded. The remaining young man
watched as the beauty continued to strip. Somehow, though, he maintained his
self-control and his bell was mute. “Praise be to the Lord, MacIntyre!”
the exclaimed excitedly. “You passed you test. Now go and join those weaker
souls in the showers.”
Ding-a-ling-a-ling.
Seriously Politically Correct:
And then
there was the couple that was so politically correct they sought to adopt a gay
baby.
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