The Chickasaw Plum

 

Home     Short Stories     Poetry     Articles     Humor     Links

 

 

 

OVERHEARD at the Animal Hotel:

 

"Every time I try to get a total of how many sheep have checked in, I fall asleep."

"Good morning, Mr. Bear! This is your springtime wakeup call."

"As for your room keys, sir, this one's for you, and THIS one's for the horse you rode in on!"

"No thanks, I'll carry the trunk myself."

"... and then it hits me: He's just a Vegas dork with a microphone and *I'm* a Siberian tiger!"

 

 

THE VET VISIT:

 

A lady awoke one morning and discovered her dog was not moving. She called her vet who asked her to bring the dog in. After a brief examination, the vet pronounced the dog dead.

"Are you sure", the distraught woman asked? "He was a great family pet. Isn't there anything else you can do?"

The vet paused for a moment and said, "There is one more thing we can do." He left the room for a moment and came back carrying a large cage with a cat in it. The vet opened the cage door and the cat walked over to the dog. The cat sniffed the dog from head to toe and walked back to the cage.

"Well, that confirms it", the vet announced, "your dog is dead."

Satisfied that the vet had done everything he possibly could, the woman sighed, "How much do I owe you?"

"That will be $1,330", the vet replied.

"I don't believe it", screamed the woman! "What did you do that cost $1,330????"

"Well", the vet replied, "it's $30 for the office visit and $1,300 for the CAT scan."

 

 

AFGHANISTAN: BOMBING REALLY WORKS:

 

We have come to learn that bombing really works. We've flown over thousands of sorties, dropped a bazillions tons of bombs, and did extreme damage to the targets. But we're a compassionate nation, and when this is all over, we're going to put the rocks and dirt back.

 

 

 

The Chickasaw Plum  -  Volume II - Number 2 - February 2005

 

 

Home     Short Stories     Poetry     Articles     Humor     Links