The
Chickasaw
Home Short Stories Poetry Articles Humor Links
AT THE
PEARLY GATES
The two Women—arrived at the
pearly gates at the same time.
Saint
Peter addressed the first:
“How
did you die, Ma’m?”
I froze
to death,” she replied/
“Oh,
my,” Saint Peter replied, as he scribbled Hypothermia
in his grand book of records. “Was that a painful way to die”
The
woman wrinkled her brow, considered this and replied, “No, not really. It was
quite cold for a little while, but then I simply fell asleep. “
“I see,
the saint said as he turned to the second woman. “And how did you die, Ma'm?”
“Heart
attack,” she said.
“Oh, my!" That happens,” replied the saint.
“But it
was unusual,” she said. I came home convinced that my husband was seeing some
else, and in fact had his girlfriend right there in our own house. He was
sitting and watching TV, but his clothes were half undone and he had this
guilty look on his face. I ran from room-to room, searching for his girlfriend.
I went to the bedroom. The bed was all mussed up, but no one there. I looked in
the pantry. No one there! I checked in the cellar. No one
there. I ran up to the second floor and search, and though he denied
all, I didn’t believe him. I pulled down the folding stairs to the attic,
started to climb up, and that’s where it happened. One great pain in my chest
and I fell, dead before I hit the floor.”
“Tsk tsk,” said St. Peter as he
wrote in the great book.
The
first woman spoke to the second, “Did you search in the big chest food
freezer?”
“No,"
said the other woman, looking a bit puzzled.
Well if you had,” she replied, “We’d
have both been alive today.”
The
Chickasaw
Home Short Stories Poetry Articles Humor Links